Tips for Helping Children with Autism Adjust to Parent Separations, Job Loss and Sudden Changes in Daily Routines
by
William D. Frea, Ph.D, BCBA-D

 

Having a parent travel, live away from home or move the family to another location is difficult for any child, but it’s especially hard for a child with autism. Children with autism are comforted by familiar, unchanging routines. A parent who travels on business or a parent who has lost a job will upset routine by being at home. Despite these inevitable life changes, it is important to create a home environment that is as predictable as possible and to adequately prepare a child for upcoming parent separations or changes in living situations. Allow time for your child to understand what is ahead. Here are four suggestions to make things more comfortable for everyone during times of transition:

1. Set Expectations

Social stories can help a child envision what is to come. Write a simple narrative that explains when the change will occur, what it will be like and what may seem different in the home. Read the same story every day for at least two weeks prior to the parent’s departure date or return home.

Use a calendar or other visual device to “countdown” to the big day. Do not present the situation as a bad thing. Remind your child what will happen on that day in as much detail as you feel comfortable with. This strategy should coincide with the social story.

2. Create Predictable Routines

Establish regular routines for the whole family. Children – especially those with autism -- rely on predictable daily and weekly events to reduce stress. Create daily routines for chores, TV time, homework, etc., and be sure to set aside some “special time” with mommy or daddy. It’s also important to build in routines that help you, such as time to catch up on personal errands or to visit friends.

When parenting alone, it is easy to lose sight of just how much stress you are under. Taking care of yourself is just as important as taking care of your child.

3. Find Support

Join or create a support group. Gathering a small group of moms together who are dealing with parenting issues, can be an enormous help. Aim for a group of no more than eight that meets on a weekly basis. Be clear what you want to accomplish, such as scheduling play dates, sharing child care duties, or planning events to get out of the house. Having a shared focus can really help relieve stress.

4. Enhance Social Networks

Sign your child up for activities outside of the home as often as possible. Help your child develop personal interests by enrolling him or her in one of the three C’s -- classes, clubs, or camps – to increase the probability of making friends, finding a new hobby, becoming more independent, and trying new things. It also exposes you to new people and broadens your own social network. Be reasonable in what you try to accomplish -- networking should help reduce your stress, not increase it!

 

In life, disruptions are inevitable.  By being proactive, you can help your child, your family and yourself minimize the stress that occurs around these events. 

Dr. William Frea is a licensed clinical psychologist and a Board Certified Behavior Analyst. He is Founder and Chief Clinical Officer of Autism Spectrum Therapies (AST), an agency providing autism services to children and families throughout Southern California. More information about AST’s early intervention programs, parent workshops and tip sheets, and other services and resources can be found on their website at www.autismtherapies.com.